Being Still

Haven't posted in a while, I know...and I'm going to try to get better at it, especially since I now have free time in abundance.  I was recently laid off from work, and I have moved back home for a while...partially out of financial necessity and partially to help around the house.  With Dad doing his med school rotations out of town and Mom's health being a bit precarious at the moment, I've taken on some of the household responsibilities.

In addition to helping around the house, I'm also getting back into going to church on a regular basis, as well as joining a small group (first meeting tonight!).  Putting my focus back on God and His purpose for my life is a huge focus for me right now.  Working in the theatre and entertainment industry really has a way of distorting your priorities, mostly because your job becomes your life, and you have little to no time for anything else.

Part of refocusing includes learning the art of being still before God.  As I said in my last post, I have the tendency to go, go, go and not want to wait for anything or anyone else.  Part of this comes from working in such a fast-paced environment, and part of it is just living in a "give it to me now" society.  These days, you rarely see anyone just being still, not worrying about anything else.  The technology available to us keeps us constantly checking our email, Facebook, and Twitter accounts from the palms of our hands.  Not only does this desensitize us to the people around us, it also puts a buffer between us and our Creator.  When we are constantly throwing Angry Birds or trying to get to the next level of Tetris, or even just texting about that party next weekend, how can we ever expect to hear the plans our Heavenly Father has for us?  Is it even possible to listen over the din of noise in our lives? Well, it definitely is not easy.  And it definitely requires a conscious effort on our part to allow the Spirit of God to speak to our hearts.

"He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
 He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
     He burns the shields with fire.
 He says, "Be still and know that I am God;
     I will be exalted among the nations,
     I will be exalted in the earth."
 The Lord Almighty is with us;
     the God of Jacob is our fortress."

~Psalm 46:9-10

Patience...is most definitely a virtue.

I consider myself many things. Friendly. Loyal. Caring. Classy. But my patience? Not one of my better qualities. I've always been one of those people that, once they think or know something is going to happen, they want it to happen now. Christmas, spring break, an Amazon order that's been "in transit" for a week...whatever the case, I just want it to happen. This is one of the things that makes "Letting God" really difficult.  God has his own timing for everything, and it almost never lines up with our idea of the time line.  In fact, we are often so tired of waiting for God's answer that we are likely to make rash decisions that lead to taking the wrong path or to just giving up entirely.  We plop down in the middle of the road and say, "I'm not doing anything until You tell me where we're going."  Of course, what we don't realize is that by saying this, we are saying that we don't trust God.  We think that we know better than the Creator of the universe as to what we should do with our lives.  Of course, once we hear it put that way, we should immediately realize how silly that seems, and how God must sometimes see us as a petulant child.  Fortunately for us, He still loves us, and for reasons only He knows, He patiently waits until we realize how childish we are being and finally stand up to start walking again.

Life's journey is not easy.  We pass many exit ramps, and we frequently ask, "Are we there yet?"  We have to remember, though, that God is guiding us and will get us to our exit ramp on time.

I say all this because I have been feeling like the petulant child lately.  I'm impatient for God to show me what is going to happen...which exit ramp to take.  I want to stop in the middle of the road and say, "Tell me where we're going, or I'm not moving." Or even worse: "Well if you're not gonna tell me, I'm just gonna take the next exit."  Prayers for patience over the next few weeks would be much appreciated.  I know there's a plan for me.  I just need to wait for God to tell me the next turn.

A Long-Awaited Update

It's amazing how quickly life gets busy, and how soon we put things like blogs aside to keep up with everything else. 

Update on the job setting: I am in a wonderful internship in a fantastic regional theatre.  I've been here since the end of August, and I'm really learning a lot about the industry and exactly how it feels to run a professional show.  It can be extremely fast-paced and filled with adrenaline, and then it can move at a snail's pace (especially during a tech process when there are no quick changes).  My apartment is lovely, and within walking distance of work, so that's nice too.

Now, as you know, my theme for this blog has been "Let go and let God."  Since I've been in "show mode," I've had a good deal of free time to walk around, think, and pray.  I don't want to give specifics just yet because I need to have a few conversations with different people, but for now I'll say that God is showing me a path that I think he wants me to take.  It's an idea I had several years ago, and I had all but forgotten about it until a few weeks ago.  But the ball has started rolling, so to speak, and hopefully by mid-week I will have a better idea about what is going on.  I know, that's really vague, but as soon as I am in a place to talk more about it, I'll post.

Also, some of you are probably wondering about my thesis! Check out the photos by going to my website, http://www.lizzyk.net and click on the Technical Portfolio link, and then the Intimate Apparel Corsetry document.

Keep me in your thoughts and prayers this week as I try to discern God's will for my life.  I think it's slowly coming together. :)

Benefits, Corsetry, and Job Hunting

We are about two weeks out from the benefit performance for TWLOHA!  I got my final approval from them a few days ago, so we are set!  I can't wait for everyone to see it.

Also, The Gainesville Times is doing an article on the show, the benefit, and my work! I can't express how excited I am about this.  They are coming sometime this week to take photos.  I'll be sure to post a link when it's published.

As far as the corsets go, I must admit I'm a little nervous about them getting done.  Now that all the fabric has been cut out, though, I think it will go faster than I think.  My main concern now is the embroidery (which I've never done).  I hope it looks great.  It will be a great project for my portfolio.

Speaking of portfolios, why do companies not want a hard copy of portfolios? They all want an email with a link or an attachment, or a CD when they get the hard copy of your resume, cover letter, and references.  I guess I understand that it's more practical, but for someone like me who has no clue how to save things as a PDF, I'm kind of nervous.  I can make my paper portfolio look amazing (it comes from years of scrapbooking), but actually transferring it to a readable and organized computer file? I had enough trouble getting this blog to look nice.  Thank goodness for templates.  I know that Sarah (our costume shop manager) will be able to help me, so I think that's why I'm not freaking out AS much.

So, the jobs I'm looking at right now...not that many, actually.  The position at Arkansas Rep got filled before I could send anything in (though it had been up since November).  I'm still looking at Vee Corporations, hopefully as one of their touring wardrobe crew members.  And I recently found a wonderful internship at the Shakespeare Theatre Company.  It doesn't pay very much, but it would be enough to live on, and the experience would be phenomenal...not to mention the contacts I would have afterward. 

Can't wait to see what happens in the next few weeks.  Praying everything goes well :)

Crazy Love

I wrote a month or two ago about letting go and letting God.  It's easier said than done. But a book that was given to me by a friend for Christmas is challenging me to do just that. It is called Crazy Love by Francis Chan.  In the book, Chan explores the believer-Christ relationship in a way that most people today really don't, but definitely should.  He looks not at what we have to do as far as keeping God from being angry at us and being punished for it, but at the simple task of loving God as He loves us: unconditionally, longingly, and passionately.  If we love Christ like that, we WANT to do what He has planned for us. We don't feel obligated to do it because we'll be punished and feel guilty if we don't. We long to do things for Him, and we long to be with Him.  We are willing to give everything we have to Christ and follow Him on whatever path He leads us.  If we truly love God that much, we don't want to stray from him.  We strive to stay as close as possible.  We strive to please Him because we love Him.

Don't you want that kind of love? I do.

Benefit for To Write Love on Her Arms

The process of actually getting a benefit performance together takes a lot longer than I expected, but it is definitely going to be worth it.  I'm trying to get the word out about the performance in as many ways as I can, so here's the info:

What: Intimate Apparel Preview and Benefit for TWLOHA
Where: The Hosch Theatre at the John S. Burd Center for the Performing Arts at Brenau University
When: Monday, February 7th, 2011 at 7:30 pm

This non-profit organization is definitely one of my favorites, because it provides a message of hope to those who have lost it, and it shows people that there is love out there.

In addition to supporting a charity, you will also be seeing one of the most beautiful scripts I've read in a while.  Here is a synopsis from the Gainesville Theatre Alliance website:

"Intimate Apparel is a deeply moving portrait of Esther, an African-American seamstress who creates exquisite lingerie for women of both the boudoir and the brothel in 1905 Manhattan.  As years pass and young friends marry and leave the boarding house and Esther consoles her loneliness and deftly stitches beautiful things for other women’s intimate moments, a stream of love letters begin to arrive from a handsome Barbadian laborer working on the Panama Canal.  This winner of five Best Play awards is filled with desire, passion and betrayal."

Ticket proceeds go to GTA, but concessions and other donations will go to TWLOHA.  Ticket information to come soon.

Christmas, Thesis, and Job Applications

So...about that whole posting once a week thing...I promise I'll do better :)

Finally Christmas break! We got out of school last week, and I managed to get through the semester with a 3.75, and a 3.77 overall GPA.  One semester to go...

And with that semester comes the thesis project.  Designing/building six corsets for the beautiful play Intimate Apparel by Lynn Nottage.  Set at the turn of the century, it centers around Esther, an African-American seamstress looking for love and meaning in her life.  I'm already building the rehearsal corsets for the beginning of the semester, and this weekend has been devoted to getting renderings done.  (Pictures to be posted soon.)  Fred, my mentor and the lead designer on this show, and I went fabric shopping this week and found some absolutely lovely fabrics to use for the corsets.  I've also gotten my application in to To Write Love on Her Arms to make our preview of the show a benefit performance.  This gives theatre a chance to not only touch the lives of those who see it, but also others who need our help.

As far a applications...I need to still write cover letters.  This is one of my biggest road blocks, because I always doubt myself when I do something I've never done before.  I suppose it's time to just bite the bullet and get to applying.  Looking at two touring jobs and two regional theatre jobs.  I'm kind of leaning towards one of the regional theatre jobs (Wardrobe Supervisor!), but I've also always wanted to tour...another let go and let God moment...which I'm constantly working on.  Daily prayers are getting easier since I signed up for Daily Bible Verse emails.  They are the first thing in my inbox every morning, and since I always check my email when I wake up, it makes God the first thing I think about.  Not too shabby of an idea, if I do say so myself.  :)